(lots of pictures this week)
Hey there,
This past week was an interesting one for sure. I don't know what it is, but after you have had a really great week, you usually have to prepare yourself for some let downs. Two of our investigators dropped us this week and the others weren't really responding or progressing. The first investigator was this kid named jack we met on campus and he seriously just seemed so golden. He told us that he felt the spirit whenever he was with us and that he knew he had met us for a reason. Then he came across one little hang up, and it was all over. He thanked us and we parted ways. It was sad, but not as sad as the day Sonny dropped us.
Sister Flanders and I found Sonny about 3 transfers ago. We have been consistently teaching him for about 3 months now and he was just so awesome. He was consistently reading from the Book of Mormon, he watched general conference and he finally came to church last Sunday for the first time and it was so dang great. Then we met with him on Friday and after a long talk about acting on personal revelation he decided that he needed to go on this journey alone for a little while, but that we shouldn't think this was the end because he may come back. He broke up with us and it was so sad. I'm going to be honest, after he left that lesson I sat down and cried. It really is so hard when you feel like you did all you could but you lose one anyways. But at the same time I know that things will turn out alright.
It was way cool though. Yesterday we went to church after a pretty depressing week and three of our investigators showed up unexpectedly and a recent convert who had fallen off the face of the Earth after her baptism came as well. It was such a miracle! Heavenly Father really is working hard with us and even when we feel like giving up, he picks us up and keeps pushing us forward.
Along those lines, I couldn't sleep last night for some reason. I had so many thoughts running around in my head that my brain just refused to shut off. So I got up and started reading and writing in my journal and received some enlightenment. So here is something I've learned:
Just like Nephi's stubborn older brothers, Laman and Lemuel from the Book of Mormon, we all forget from time to time the things we have learned, the feelings that we had when truth was revealed to us through revelation, and even who we are. We don't let this happen on purpose, but at the same time it is usually a result of us neglecting our "eternal progression" by thinking that if we just stop progressing for a little while, we will remain where we left off. Unfortunately that is not the case. Living a gospel life is like walking, or running in some cases, up a downward moving escalator. The going may slow or fast depending on who you are, and no matter who you are, if you stop or stand still for even a moment you will not remain where you are, but you will indefinitely regress. Pretty frustrating huh? But what I've also come to realize is that, simply put, that is just the way life is and is supposed to be. The whole purpose of our coming to Earth was to gain a body AND experience through facing and overcoming opposition. if we never had to struggle and work to gain truth and light, we would never recognize and or appreciate what it is to receive enlightenment after enduring well and faithfully through our trials. we would never understand the magnitude and the blessing of what it means to gain "all that the Father hath". So what happens if you did stop and "take a break" from living a gospel life and you lost the ground you had won? Don't worry, all is not lost. We were not asked to make the climb alone the first time, and no matter how many times it takes for us to learn that it is much easier to just keep going rather than starting over again and again, the Savior is ever willing to answer our plea for help and to climb with us and show us the way up and onward. I read a quote by Jeffrey R. Holland, one of the 12 apostles, that sums it up pretty well.
"However late you think you are, however many chances you think you've missed, however many mistakes you think you've made or talents you think you don't have, or however far from home, family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite atonement shines."
The really wonderful thing about the atonement is that there is no expiration date, it is not limited use, and it extends to all, including those who think they don't want it. If you feel like you have fallen too far, you haven't. If you think you are too far gone, you're not, and if you believe that you are no longer worth it, than stop it. Even at our absolute lowest point, we are more worth it than we will ever be able to comprehend. The Savior died for all of us, but even if there was only one person on the Earth, he still would have done it, because he loves us. I know my Savior lives and loves eternally. I know that I can be cleansed and perfected from the many mistakes I've made, because of him. I know that as long as we push forward with a steadfastness in Christ and endure to the end, we can and will receive an everlasting fullness of joy. I have said it a million times before, but I KNOW it. I love this gospel and you all more than you will ever know and I hope you all have a wonderful week.